Esophaguys

Esophaguys might have been one of the greatest games I have ever played on this website. I say that in the assurance that this is the ONLY game I have played on this website. A masterfully crafted enigma of creativity and design made only possible by the intuitive team of geniuses that were able to pull through with such a mountain of an idea.

First of all, the soundtrack. Now, believe me when I say that I have listened to some good music in my time, Sonic Youth, Swans, Death Grips, Josh A, you name it. When I first heard the music as I was loading into this game, it was a cacophonous, avant-garde masterpiece that blended genres so seamlessly, and felt manic and unpredictable from start to finish. Even in the level select screen, it was like I was being forced into the levels through the composure of the soundtrack. It was an eccentric masterpiece to be withheld on every playthrough, breaking musical dogmas and rewriting what music should be and what it actually is.

To add to such an important soundtrack, the gameplay is revolutionary to say the least. Combining the excruciating rage of Getting Over It with such post-modernist design philosophies that easily rivals the mechanics of Among Us and Fall Guys, this was no doubt one of the most memorable experiences I have ever had in gaming. Nothing on this entire planet could have prepared me for the moment I saw my character's neck elongate into a spire of flesh, as he gripped mouthfuls of trees in an escape from his unfortunate circumstance in this deranged landscape. Such imagery was breathtaking to say the least, it was like playing something like Call Of Duty for the first time again. Although, I would say that Esophaguys is paramount to something as juvenile and plebian like Call Of Duty.

I finally get to talk about the design of this game, which has got to be one of the greatest feats of human artistry I have seen in my entire life. The ideas present here take clear inspiration from such a wide variety of genres, artists, bands, and orchestras. From the psychedelic landscapes that blur the lines between hallucinations and reality, to a staggering character design that effortlessly meshes the avant-garde mannerisms of Picasso into a contemporary state, this game's design is unparalleled. Not a single thing I have seen outside of this project has made me feel truly satisfied like this has. The level design is by far the greatest thing achieved by human kind. A universal understanding must be met when levels are being designed, and the team here really did understand that. It was like a constant battle between learning the game and exploring these rich landscapes of uncertainty and maliciousness. I felt berated by the long, treacherous platforming, but also rewarded and fulfilled when I had conquered them. Something about the design is more or less shrilling rather than pleasing, but it is an emotion that humanity seems to lack regard in. 

In a conclusive mix of emotions, Esophaguys is possibly the greatest game in the history of the platforming genre, and certainly one of the most original and influential games of the 21st century. To the quintumvirate that were somehow able to develop such a marvel of intuition, I hope to see your future endeavors succeed.

9.5/10.

Fun and good game. When is the sex update?